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(503):
I knew I wAs drunk when I used my boner as an air guitair
(256):
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
(810):
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
(Nicolelepley):
Last night, And this d bag talking to me is def a toolbox. Like I'm talking serious full set of nails toolbox. MDTxt
(347):
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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(575):
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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