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(314):
dude, i just tickled some fat chick for half an hour, i'm so wasted
(832):
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
(630):
Received: "Who did I fuck last night, cuz my bed smells like her perfume. She smells niceeeeee." Sent: "Im still here, just in the living room playing Xbox360. you smell good too."
(626):
Okay! Time to make waffles while in my underwear and sandals! Yum!
(318):
you would think they would have guys' birth control pills now a days.
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(651):
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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