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(307):
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
(408):
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
(250):
(rec'd)Ever notice how horny you get while wearing a tampon? It is like a mini dildo you can wear all day long!
(954):
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
(847):
Last night my buddy dropped his hat on the floor and unintentionally landed over his Roomba It turned on, wandered into his roommates bedroom who was in the middle of a hard acid trip. He hopped up on his desk knocking off everything including his new monitor and called the police reporting "rogue hat activity" and possible nuclear weapons.
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(561):
rec:dude just saw that hot teacher from middle school! sent:get it girl Rec: I just hope he doesn't remember when I cried in his class halfway through. Sent: yea thatd be embarassing..
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