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(908):
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
(613):
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
(318):
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
(412):
I'm not sure what I want for dinner but it sounds like you want my specialty .... shweaty balls (412) You know it (412) They are in the oven cookin' right now!
(816):
it was like i was f**king a jelly fish. she just lay there and jiggled as though it was meant to be pleasuresome.
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(630):
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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