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(803):
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
(603):
so you masturbated because Oprah told you? !
(834):
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
(847):
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
(901):
If someone ever shits in the urinal at work, just to let you know... it was me =]
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(818):
Fuck you bitch, I'm following the tequila and da dick!
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