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(501):
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
(774):
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
(785):
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
(615):
I am an olympic pooper.
(201):
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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(512):
HOLD UP. Do u realize that im not ACTUALLY incestuous?? Cept in roleplay. But in real life grabbin yo ass and boobs doesnt turn me on. Ya dig?????
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