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(203):
r:where are u? s: on my way back from the hospital i have a concussion r:how the fuck did u do that? s: well i was using my new vibrator in the shower and i was standing up and it was reallllly intense and my legs spazzed out and i fell. hence, the concussion r: where the fuck can i get a vibrator like that.
(804):
You know your wasted when you say "five second rule" aloud when yr totally alone, and it's just a peanut
(215):
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
(631):
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
(720):
Dude, I just purchased a 5 lbs block of dry ice for $4.50 and burned off my genital warts! I saved at least $100 in medical fees.
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(734):
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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