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(479):
He fucked the mascara right off my face!
(619):
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
(954):
do you want the jonas brothers to douse you with their white foam??
(319):
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
(818):
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
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(203):
(sent) I'm ending 2010 sober. (received) ya? (sent) but I'm starting 2011 drunk as fuck
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