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(218):
You took all my candy! (218-2) give me a blow job and you can have it back;)
(706):
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
(570):
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
(574):
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
(360):
I wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom I was getting tutored. she asked what time I would be back, I told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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(678):
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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