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(716):
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
(708):
I need a hookup tonight. My vag is flawlessly shaved and i feel like a fucking porn star.
(859):
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
(713):
The doctor told me i had a twisted nut and if it remained that way any longer.... it would die. I pled for her to untwist it. The weird thing was, the doctor was my mom
(912):
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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(Anonymous):
Received last night : Panda just hopped the train to drunk-town. Reply: Hell ya! We gettin it now! Received : choo choo MDT
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