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(774):
his ring tone is the Jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
(603):
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
(414):
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
(336):
I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday.
(405):
I just used 'oodles' in a sentence correctly. Praise me.
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(262):
nothing like waking up to you drunk thinking ur his friend and telling you "wake up you bitch"
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