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(940):
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
(602):
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
(678):
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
(617):
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
(612):
Just cracked his knuckle with my vag. Bragging rights?
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(347):
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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