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(416):
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
(575):
the hard part today is distinguishing between just a fart and maybe something a little more.
(204):
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
(518):
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
(660):
You spent 4 hours trying to jump through my TV so you could meet Elmo and Big Bird....
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(608):
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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