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(781):
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
(+61):
wow even your vagina is emo
(250):
red bull liessss. it does not, i repeat, does NOT give you wings
(989):
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
(919):
just woke up in a closet with some asian chick, wet, and no clothes on... i thought i had pissed myself til i saw this person had a pool out back. cuervo is a bitch.
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(441):
Fyi.... Hookers don't make good character witnesses..
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