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(253):
Yeah well fuck her. ill just poke the shit out of her on facebook in the morning (1-253): yeah... cuz thatll really fry her cone... (253): youd be surprised
(440):
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
(614):
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
(805):
Dude, i asked you why you were going so slow and you said you were waiting for the deer to cross thr road. FYI it was a mailbox.
(202):
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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(402):
One of the joys of living in a city is the chances of me running into the same people more than twice while hammered is reduced dramatically.
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