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(480):
...she musta thought it'd be sexy to finger her ass herself. She ended up shitting in her own hand. I woke up to a text from her saying "we cool?". Im changing my number.
(757):
so im drunk playing wii sports, the girl im playing with started suckin me off and i closed my eyes and rolled a perfect 300 in bowling, win?
(678):
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
(309):
Hey, wanna go to a movie? (Sent): Sure, know anyone looking to go? (Rec'vd): Duh... Me! (Sent): Oh, naw I'm all set here.
(540):
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out (rec'd): you've hit the jackpot
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(254):
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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