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(479):
I wish they made helmets for livers.
(814):
Dude you offered the cab driver a beer and said you were a avid supporter of drunk driving and think it should be an Olympic sport. (1-814): Did he drink it? (814): Yeah totally
(508):
She dumped me because she said I wasn't going anywhere. Now she's dropped out of college and married a high school dropout crackhead. Who's going nowhere now bitch!!
(803):
She looks down syndrome... (reply): Think she's easy?
(+44):
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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(307):
dude so she just actually asked me if it was possible to get a mushroom stamp imprint on her forehead and then she grabbed my dick and started slapping herself with it
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