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(546):
do you think becka will mind if i kill all her fish? (rec'd) yeeeees why? (sent) because I just drained the water out of the fish bowl and cooked the fish alive in a saucepan.
(561):
I met these three chicks and they asked, "if i had any guy friends to party with" I was drunk and said i have no friends and started to cry so they took me to their hotel room and fucked me EPIC NIGHT!!!!
(620):
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
(604):
So remember the random guy i slept with last night... Ended up sleeping with his best friend tonight. Im president of the dirty whore society
(814):
My boyfriend and i were just going thru my dead granpas stuff, and he found a box of condoms. Half are gone. With a reciept for two days before he died. Whoa....
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(218):
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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