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(850):
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one."
(602):
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
(862):
i would if i had a condom and she was with me
(207):
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
(860):
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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(208):
I know i said he has a small penis, but we just had seriously the best sex i have had all year. I came 3 times in the first ten min alone. AMAZING!!!
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