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(678):
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
(250):
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
(609):
my walk of shame consisted of me walking out of his dorm around 6 am..(still drunk), finding a mexican driving a ride on lawnmower and showing him my boobs for him to drive me back to my dorm.. win?
(+44):
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
(623):
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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(336):
"I don't care who's attacking you don't ash in my floor there's ashtrays everywhere!"
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