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(405):
what if I just pull my vcard out of my wallet and am like here take this
(870):
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
(773):
Katie just gave me head on top of the ferris wheel and spit out my load 30 ft onto the ground! (rec'vd): Make that 24 ft because it landed on my head. Youre dead. No joke.
(203):
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
(410):
I'm pretty sure I brought home a turtle to mate with my dog. WTF happened last nite!
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(304):
They knew as soon as you asked them if you could have a 50 piece mcnugget meal.
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