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(402):
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
(720):
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
(402):
This is NO TIME for pants!
(813):
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
(631):
mom and dad are having a threesome with the dog right now. Should i video tape it?
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(678):
I'll let you lick that caramel and chocolate syrup off my dick
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