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(519):
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
(507):
its 10 in the morning...just got done with my final and im 2 beers deep...get over here (605) i just pounded a bottle of peach schnapps during my final so im one up on you
(405):
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
(905):
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
(516):
I should stop telling peoplle im a freshman when i'm sober...then they just get me drunk cause im too easy
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(313):
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot (313): He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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