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(610):
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
(226):
dude, this chick has 3-ply toilet paper. wiped my ass with a cloud.
(217):
im sorry, i cant hear you over the sound of HOW FUCKED UP IM GETTING
(815):
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
(860):
we camped out overnight in one of the girls bathroom stalls at the highschool. shot heroin with creepy old janitor at about 1am. was actually at school on time the next morning for once in my life.
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(256):
i've discovered that when i'm only tipsy i'm a huge cock blocking bitch....but when i'm trashed i fuck every guy in sight.
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