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(914):
(from my best friend's father): you're a really good friend and i like you a lot
(518):
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
(972):
Mom is drunk and grounded for not accepting her as a neighbor on farmville.
(615):
Seriously, I've walked in on my roommate 3 times masturbating with her hairbrush handle. I know what I'm getting her her birthday next week: a big fat dildo.
(705):
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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(518):
she got arrested for being at a party the cops found out cuz some dude had to piss and called the cops on the guy in the bathroom
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