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(303):
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
(608):
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
(253):
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
(720):
i know ur prolly busy but can u do me a HUGE favor and write a letter to miley cyrus and ask her exactly what the fuck it means to move my hips like "yea" cuz i get the head thing, but my hips!? wtf?
(608):
hey if mom calls u tell her im sleeping at your place. im trippin bad lol. (recv'd from mom): you have 30 minutes to walk in the door!
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(208):
I cant find my clothes.. Am I so weak that 5 MGD 64's can do this to me???
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