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(512):
you know what would really piss him off? If you gave me a blow job... (received): on my way
(330):
so..last night Tim was eating me out...and i farted in his face
(512):
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
(418):
When life gives you a jeffery, stroke the fuzzy wall
(310):
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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(206):
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
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