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(713):
you told the guy at the drive through you were getting ready for spring break so you asked for a mini- mac becuase a big mac had too many calories
(650):
On the clock at work having sex in the bathroom with one of my customers
(410):
There's a little secret condom-sized pocket in my shorts..American Eagle breeds whores.
(240):
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday
(604):
(recieved) I've been wanting to piss in your mouth from the moment we met.
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(412):
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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