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(917):
note to self... never get fingered at the beach
(732):
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
(781):
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
(407):
I went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passed out. when you wish upon a star...
(512):
I just got a standing novation when i made it to work on New Years Day.
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(908):
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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