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(727):
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
(248):
The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place.
(248):
dude, you dry humped a dude in an easter bunny suit, smacked my girlfriends ass, and hooked up with twins. what were you drinking last night, magic?
(512):
The shit in the Hangover is not funny anymore when it happens to you
(770):
To Cha Cha: "how lng does it take to fly a cessna biplane arond the worold if there are 4 migets hnaging frm it when the pilot lands evrery 30 minutes to have sex with each miget 12 mintes each and when the plane hits and albatroz pidgeon causing drag every 15 minutes??"
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(403):
If I Had a check list "give a stripper a lap dance" would be checked the fuck off.
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