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(908):
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
(215):
so i didnt have sex with him last night bc i thought it was common courtesy to wait at least 24 hrs between dif guys... slut? i think not!
(894):
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
(603):
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
(708):
I told my friend to smell my breath to see if it stank like jose curveo and tequila, he put his ear next to my mouth trying to smell it. That night was awesome
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(985):
Decided to piss on my Ex-gf's house last night. Best drunk idea yet. That'll teach that cheating whore whose boss.
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