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(716):
so i was with my girl last night and she wanted to fuck so bad she screamed "just take out my tampon and fuck me already" win?
(973):
i dipped my dick in fake blood and ran down my dorm halls screaming "VIRGIN!" and "PERIOD BLOOD!"
(586):
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
(407):
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
(Anonymous):
Last night I received "damn yo so controlling. Btw i totally need to see boob before I'm your boyfriend. its only right." MDT
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(678):
Goddamn I love getting drunk and beating ass on the field. I scored 6 goals. We won 6-5.
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