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(603):
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
(631):
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
(203):
i went to his house because i was bored. he ended up making me food and giving me shots so i felt like i should have sex to repay him. i told him i forgot to take birth control so he offered to just buy plan b in the morning. future boyfriend material?
(281):
You seem like the kind of person who would play the Sims just to kill them.
(850):
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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(307):
I cant just pee in the woods! Bears pee in the woods... and boys!
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