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(209):
She broke up with me cuz if I can't take care of her farm how am I gunn take care of her baby
(301):
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
(704):
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
(804):
He was wasted and laying with me on the couch. He had been munchin on a pickle and then bent down to what i thought was kiss me but proceeded to try to feed me like a bird and drop chewed pickle in my mouth.. eww wtf?
(830):
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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(913):
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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