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(609):
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
(289):
(R) Baby wanna fuck? (L) No, maybe another night I'm playing wii.
(303):
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
(208):
ok so maybe taking shots everytime they said the word 'sex' on secret life of the american teenager wasnt such a good idea?
(361):
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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(928):
928 Baby are you okay? Whats taking so long?! 928 be patients woman you cant rush poop!!!
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