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(587):
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
(603):
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
(906):
I was still so drunk when i woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock i keep by my bed!
(541):
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
(412):
Shut the fuck up you popcorn looking motherfuckerrr
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(816):
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from? (1-816): Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower. (816): ...... wtf.
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