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(321):
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
(732):
The guy I woke up next to coughed up a Heineken cap.... but we were drinking Guiness.
(614):
POCKETFUL OF CELERYYYY! LOVE YOU
(315):
her vag was very loose, i think i know where osama has been hiding all of these years!
(407):
I stumbled into the gas station drunk in front of a cop. He just held the door for me and smiled. I LOVE MY BOOBS
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(919):
Can i make you a V card, just a card with a V on it. Even though you aren't a virgin. I would decorate it of course.
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