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(305):
soooo i walked home from his place in his ex girlfriends designer jeans. said i could keep them. im missing where the whole "shame" part comes in
(909):
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
(651):
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
(319):
Dude, my mom just corrected me on a quote from Hangover, and then called me a ra-tard.........
(970):
OMG! He just walked in on me in the shitter! He saw me squeezing milk from my boobs!
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(401):
I can't stop thinking about freshman year when I got my hand stuck in the sewing machine
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