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(586):
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
(865):
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
(250):
[s] you banged who?! [r] hey! guys can hop from bed 2 bed without judgement. im merely fighting for the same rights. im not a slut. im a feminist.
(609):
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
(503):
(sent) Dude!!!! that random hot chick sucked my dick right before I left the party! (recv'd) dang. she made out with me after you left.
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(702):
So I'm at a suite at the Palms rented by Ashton Kutcher. Demi is dancing around in a black bikini talking abt how fat she is w/Snoop Dogg smoking not a cigarett
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