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(240):
Hahahaha. Well the highlight of my night is us driving home, me having to stop to let ash puke and you asking me "should I puke too, to make her feel better?"
(860):
I just woke up and there were several one dollar bills in my undies and there's an unconscious asian man on the floor. What the fuck did we do last night?
(952):
(Recv) I just fucked emma! (Sent) How? Isn't she pretty much dating your brother? (Recv) being an identical twin has its benefits:)
(540):
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
(305):
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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(208):
how do you say i want to have frequent casual sex with you in a classy way? ;)
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