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(919):
So after a night of bitching out my roommate, being chased by the cops, and complete awkwardness, Im not gonna be a DAD!! Ya! Haha
(478):
I love facebook. When the drug dealer friend requests you and you realize you have 181 friends in common.
(205):
I just discovered applebees has 99 cent long islands. My life is over
(909):
I forgot to wear my retainer, i forgot to take my pill, i didnt go home and I woke up naked!
(903):
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
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(305):
We were out of doggie shampoo, so i used old spice swagger on buddy... He smells like a pimp. B-)
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