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(405):
I thk i just fuckied a horse... its grinning and slobbering on me...
(812):
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
(425):
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
(502):
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
(724):
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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(405):
Hey I'm bored and I'm drunk and want sex and I'm in a different chair. Ha!
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