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(301):
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
(585):
passed out last night, woke up this morning naked next to a fine girl. not to realize she had the same exact tattoo in the same exact place as my mother.... that was my mother.
(308):
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
(509):
Have you ever had to pee while having sex (1-509): Yes (509): Is it wrong to piss in the condom (1-509): WTF!!! Yes
(804):
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text??
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(618):
(Sent): I can't blieve I just kissed u in front of my boyfriend (Rcvd): I kno, we r so ddrrruunk
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