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(925):
Walgreens has axe, lighters, eye drops, and mints by the register. It's like they know
(580):
said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you."
(416):
i just left his house, is it bad that my wrist hurts?!
(832):
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
(954):
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
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(609):
bro you just let one loose emotionally and physically..
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