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(774):
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
(416):
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
(209):
If i were a wizard would all the other smurfs love me? (510): What kind of porn is this?
(207):
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
(208):
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
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(678):
i wanna fuck. :D -tom dent
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