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(Anonymous):
Last night I received: "why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonald's?"... sent: "you tried to order a margarita mcflurry and when they said they didn't make those you tried to call 911." MDT
(353):
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash.
(530):
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
(302):
Got really wasted while on my period. Apparently I ended up humping his leg and got lines of blood on his jeans. Oops.
(birdman):
if you're gonna fuck her, do it in the room with the crib
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(631):
Wanna play a game of bp in jesus' tomb?
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