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(847):
Last night my buddy dropped his hat on the floor and unintentionally landed over his Roomba It turned on, wandered into his roommates bedroom who was in the middle of a hard acid trip. He hopped up on his desk knocking off everything including his new monitor and called the police reporting "rogue hat activity" and possible nuclear weapons.
(603):
dude..i just watched a hot chick who used to babysit me deep throat a banana, and say that i'm next......win?
(443):
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
(919):
I was screwing this chick and her mom called midsex. She answered it and we kept going at it while she talked to her mom. Failure or great victory?
(831):
Why the hell did a picture of your cooch show up on my phone (rec'd) WTF????? I SENT THAT TO MARK! (sent) no, evidently you sent it to your whole contact list
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(503):
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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