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(904):
H im so confused...what is going on why are you texting so loud
(647):
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
(727):
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
(020):
You shat on a plate, put it in my fridge, and then wrote a note saying you'd collect it tomorrow
(717):
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
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(508):
he layed on his stomach and i turned to my side, he had the "i just got laid" attitude
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