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(970):
McDonalds should deliver... It would not only lead to less hunger... but we wouldn't have to drive drunk
(409):
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
(832):
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
(717):
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
(howaboutthat!):
I got this text from my friend, "Dude some girl just called me trying to convince me that she was a burrito salesman." MDT
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(631):
(631a) I dfw (631b) Dfw? (631a) Down for whatever (631a) Xcept anal (631a) That shit hurts
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