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(515):
when we were fucking she said i was her first since her operation...i said, what operation? she said, my sex change operation. I quickly got limp, very, very limp. I really hope this doesn't make me gay!
(518):
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
(703):
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
(360):
dude she has a kid so you know she puts out.
(610):
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
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(905):
On s scale ofe qA1 to frunk i'm cryiunkdd (905): Lol...dude when you see how retarded that statement just sounded tmrw you will laugh lol
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